Agreed with everything you say and might I also add I'm in awe that you took care of your grandmother and worked full time. No wonder you were stressed!! Helping with my mother's care--in conjunction with my siblings--only worked for me because sometimes the kids were in school and I could arrange my freelance hours around her and their schedule.

To some extent it feels absurd to say it's too tough for the kids now to look after the parents--but I know that my mom's mom and aunts took care of their brother with polio and other relatives, BUT they were in their own homes, on the farm, 24/7, which arguably made that possible. Of course, they worked all the time too. But they also were not driving their kids around to things to make them "competitive" in school, or trying to do caregiving around their offsite, 9 to 5 jobs. Things were hard then, and they're hard now, just in different ways.