Each marriage is so unique, it's impossible for me to say.

I am, however, of the opinion that at some point in a marriage, you just hit that tipping point of it's too much work to continue, or you decide you really want to keep working with this partner. (Not very romantic, but that's the way I feel.) With everything else going on, I admit I have very little energy left to give my partner currently--but I have to start changing that because, more than I want the good feelings or the romance--I want to be a stand-up partner. That is important to my self of sense, more than I feel I am "appeasing" him.

Also I can count several times when each of us assumed something and were wrong. Once early on I was tired of our relationship and just didn't talk much for weeks or months--and later when that came out, it turned out that was a time HE thought we were "really getting along well."

We each of us get wrapped up in our own ways. If I have any thoughts (and I do wish you luck), it's that you have to decide you want to keep the partnership working, even if you don't feel like it, and that you have to explain things. Maybe you literally have to say, "when you do that, I kind of lose the energy to talk with you, and I really WANT to talk with you." I think many people are more open to changing habits when their partner tells them that, above all else, they value them as a person and want each person to enjoy the relationship.

Good luck!!