Fellow Gen X'er! Thanks for reading!

You are in a very common situation, but that doesn't make it more fun for anyone. There are so many red flags here--parents who can pay for help but won't, family members with different expectations about what is "owed" to parents.

Thanks particularly for highlighting the difficulty of freelancing while caregiving--so many people think that makes everything all better, you can just "schedule" your work around stuff--but people don't realize with freelancing you're often on the hook for your own insurance and self-employment tax so you have to work twice as long to make the same amount of money as a non-freelancer! And my mother, personally, got to the point where I couldn't even do my freelance work at her house--with her dementia, I basically had to follow her around and keep her from hurting herself.

I wish you luck, and I think you're within your rights to be clear about what you will and won't do. Especially if they have the resources--they need to start using them.