I am so sorry about your parents (and the work of caregiving you had before they passed) and thank you for reading.

You can't blame yourself. We were all to the point with our mom where we were trying so hard not to let her fall on the tile floor she had in her home that we were standing right next to her, and it made her furious. Our brother slept at her house overnight and you're right--you just can't get any sleep. We worried he would be tired at work, where he operates heavy machinery.

Sometimes there just aren't a lot of great choices. It really is a lot to process and it does kind of help to have contact with others, like you, who have gone through it.

Thanks for reading and I hope you keep finding things that help.