It is a credit to you that you did what was in your heart to do. I never judge others on what they do or don't do for their parents because I know the work of caring for others is so great. Sometimes the work is its own rewards and there may be other rewarts--but at the end of the day , even if it is rewarding, it is just a lot of work. And only so many hours in the day to do it.

I have also seen how hard caregiving is on the relationships around it and how everyone has different ideas about how much caregiving is needed. My point is that even if you try to balance it--provide the adequate attention for parents, kids, spouses, other friends, and one's own personal health needs--it's becoming increasingly difficult to do that. I salute you for all the dinners with both your parents and your kids. Amazing.

Of course wherever I end up I hope my kids want to visit and maybe even help. But at a certain point I think I'll want them to look away and save themselves.