Sandy, thank you for reading, and for this comment.

I have never heard of "board and care" facilities. My mom is in one of the smaller facilities we could find, and one that is dedicated solely to Memory Care. The caregivers have been very kind, but it's still not where she wants to be.

She was definitely in denial about her dementia, and to some extent all her children were as well. It did not make it easy to plan or understand her wishes, but it is what it is.

I can't imagine there will be anyone left to do the work that caregivers do now (for awful wages, even though the care is expensive) when I get to the dementia stage, so I try not to think about it at all.