Thank you for reading and for this thoughtful and generous comment.

I don't really have the right complain about the cycle in my family. It certainly didn't start when I was 26 and I have a great family; caring parents and siblings I truly enjoy.

I never would have thought about this aspect of caregiving if I hadn't experienced it. There is such a continuum out there of how people expect and want to care for others--you can't really expect that you and your spouse will have exactly the same idea of what constitutes the "correct" amount of time to spend on your various responsibilities.

My deep sadness now is for my mother. I know she never expected to live in a memory care facility. But it was just beyond me. So it continues to take an emotional toll on all of us. I'm just trying to be more effective in the rest of my life, so when I visit I can keep her company as long as possible. I hope you are able now to take the time for the things you want and need for yourself as well.