Thanks for reading and for the great story about how you helped another person think more carefully about communicatino patterns. That is not so easily done!

To answer your question, absolutely I miss some details. In many conversations where I overlap, however, I am with people with whom I am very close and we are either talking over inconsequential things or very consequential things that we are mostly illustrating with stories. The details are not often the point in these conversations--the circular jokes, shorthand, breaking in with assertions, laughing, talking together and getting the gist--that's the point. You've asked a very good question because I'm sure that's why part of my conversation with my best friend was so annoying for my linguist roommate to transcribe--when my friend and I really get going it's like a whole different language of shared quotes, shorthand, trailed off sentences, overlaps, etc. I'm describing it badly but when done right and with others who know what you're doing it's a very joyful talking experience, almost like call and response or choral singing.

In general I am awful with details when talking or even listening. (Kind of the way introverts can be awful on the phone because we're so worried about "how the conversation is going" that we cann't keep track of what the conversation is ABOUT.) Sometimes the more closely I try to listen the worse it goes. I don't know why, because I'm a writer who researches and writes journalism where I have to build a case and illustrate it with details and narrative. When reading and writing I can do that. Any kind of talking--not so much.

I totally agree with you that I want to hear people and I definitely don't want to be rude or overpowering. I know now in a way I never did before how strongly people feel about this topic and am making the effort to be a more respectful listener in all situations.