There are so many cultural, regional, and generational nuances to this discussion.

My parents were Germanic, lived in the rural midwest, and it was always very much expected that their kids would all stay in the area and help them. (Maddening, but kind of heartening to find I share that with other cultures.)

What I find frustrating (and my husband finds this with his parents as well) is that it's expected you provide enough help to keep their lifestyle going as they planned/wanted. It is expected that you and your needs will be flexible--without those asking for or accepting the help being at all flexible in their requirements.

Thank you for reading and for reminding this what this problem looks like all over the world.