This is a very different type of piece on mothering/babies than is typically on offer anywhere, and I salute you for providing it.

I laughed out loud at your holding babies/fragility thoughts. I don't hold other people's babies because it hurts that I will never hold my two own babies again (as babies--I still hug them of course, which is lovely too); I miss it so much that I can't open the gate to that feeling by holding someone else's baby.

Fragility, indeed. And self-preservation. You called it.