This is such a difficult issue. I think it goes way beyond different ideas for cleanliness. I'm always stymied that people want to do just exactly what they want to do and expect everyone else to go along with them in all things. I may be selfish but I would have had to draw a line under my relationship with my mom if it had led to fleas in my house and not being able to withstand being in hers due to condition. I guess people have a right to live in filth--but I also have the right to not visit those people.

Wow. It's just a really tough spot to be in though, because it's your mom.