We have been honored (and thankful we have had the means) to try and help our mom. We just couldn't believe what we were up against with dementia.
I too believe that family comes first, but that doesn't mean I believe that the elder generation always gets to dictate all the terms, whether by plan or by omission of making a realistic plan. And I have been surprised when talking to others to hear many statements like "yeah, I really don't owe my parents anything, they'll have to figure out their own care" from people who I know are good people and loving family members.
Thank you so much for reading!