When I was a librarian a gentleman asked us very nastily, "What do you do with all this fine money anyway??!?" (You know, like WE were the ones who had kept his book overdue.) I told him we converted it all into dollar bills and rolled around naked in them in the back room.

He was speechless. Mission accomplished.

Simultaneously one of my proudest, and also one of my least proud, professional moments.

Love this piece!